Alone In My Heart
by xFallenAngel of DEATHx
Summary: Remake of CCS master of the Clow vol.6 SORTA KINDA NOT REALLY but in a way is what happened after Li left please just read IF U WANNA!and please...THIS ISN'T FLUFFY JUNK if u want a more real story here u go
1. prologue

Disclaimer: all of these characters belong to CLAMP not me and if you don't like what I've written, too bad, but a review would help!!( Oh yeah, the lyrics belong to Mandy Moore.  
  
Title: Forever In My Heart  
  
Chapter 1: Alone In My Heart a/n:this is sorta a remake of the Card Captor Sakura: Master of the Clow book 6 so if u r confused that well .yeah heheh: P) ^_^  
  
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Sakura wept when the bus left. Syaoran Li was actually gone, here in her heart and spirit, but at Hong Kong.  
I'll Always remember  
It was late afternoon  
It lasted forever  
But ended so soon  
The year that followed after his departure to Sakura was like hell. Every night of that terrible year, she cried herself to sleep waiting for Li to come back to Japan.  
But she remembered that day when he confessed that he was in love with Sakura as if it was just a minute ago. "I'm.I'm.I'm in love with you!! My number one is you Sakura." And she had so many words to describe her relationship with him, but was just so confused about what Li meant to her.  
But she also remembered when she first met Li. He was so different then how he was when he left. Everybody knew him as Li Shoran the new kid from Hong Kong. Competitive, athletic, stubborn, and modest. He was still that Li, but just a difference that he was Sakura's friend. She was happy of that, and just extremely grateful over that small fact.  
But what exactly did Li mean to her? Well to her, Li was her world, and everything around it. And now, she was alone. By herself. And she saw Japan in totally different eyes. A gloomy over polluted city with tons of strange people.  
What bothered her more was that most of the guys in her class started to constantly stare at her nowadays. There was this one time she recalled in home economics when she sat down at an empty table, and all the guys who did often stare at her just sat right down by her, even though she saved a seat for Tomoyo. Then that started to happen more often.  
She wanted help, and felt so alone. Tomoyo started to notice that she was very sad indeed. So she wrote to Li.  
Dear Syaoran Li,  
  
I've noticed some very different things about Sakura lately. She seems so sad now, and has been like that since you left, even though you promised her that you would come back. Has she written to you lately? I don't think she has, otherwise she'd still be happy looking forward to the day of your return. She seems to want to distance herself from everything, and if you look into her eyes they don't shine like they usually do anymore, they're emotion less. And she just is probably just waiting for you to come back. I'm really worried about her.  
And when I stop by her house in the morning so we can walk to school together, she looks like she hasn't been sleeping. I asked Toya if she has been eating and he said no. I'm afraid she is going to end up killing herself.  
I suggest you come and visit Toemoda during Winter Break. I try to tell her that you'll come back and see her again, but once she hears the sound of your name she just runs out of my sight. It's too sad to see her like this slowly killing her self spiritually and physically. I don't ever see her smile anymore. And I'm worried also because a lot of the time in class I see a lot of boys staring at her, and when that does happen, she looks even paler than she normally does.  
I miss the old Sakura. The Sakura who is always thinking positive and has glittering emerald eyes that shine brighter than any star. But, I don't think anybody but you can help her out of this.  
Please answer ASAP!!  
~Tomoyo Daidouji  
  
"That should take care of everything, I hope," Tomoyo thought. She put it in the mailbox and just waited that everything would work out according to her plan. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Two weeks later  
  
Tomoyo looked into the mailbox. She saw that what she had waited a month to come has finally arrived. It was a reply from Syaoran.  
  
Dear Tomoyo,  
  
Well, I received your letter. In a week from today I will arrive in Tomoeda and will stay for the whole winter break. I am glad that you have been watching over Sakura, even though I'm pretty sure she hasn't been feeling too well since I left. You probably know I didn't want to leave, but I had to. I was defeated by Sakura in the Final Judgement, and decided to leave for Hong Kong after that was over. But, after Hiragizawa arrived and all those strange things started happening, I decided to stay, in case she needed help. After the strange things stop happening I knew I would leave. But, the whole thing turned around when I started to fall for her. I wanted to tell her I loved her, and I did, in the end. But, I didn't know that she would be so sad. I thought that she would write to me while I was in Hong Kong. I looked forward to that. But it turns out she didn't.  
I'm eternally grateful that you've told me this, because otherwise I am positive that she would end up killing herself because of the lack of food and sleep. And, on a lighter note, going to Toemoda would get me out of Meilin's face for awhile, which is kind of necessary since she is driving me nuts.  
Hope to see you soon,  
Syaoran Li  
  
Tomoyo felt as if the weight of the world has been lifted off her shoulders. She felt better knowing that Sakura wouldn't die because of loneliness. Then she decided that she would go over to Sakura's house to tell her this.  
She rang the doorbell. Toya opened the door.  
"Hi Tomoyo," he said.  
"Hi Toya. Do you know where Sakura is?" she asked.  
"Yeah, the monsters upstairs." he said.  
"Right thanks!" Tomoyo said more cheerfully then she had been in ages.  
"Hey Sakura!" she said when she opened the door to Sakura's room. Sakura was sitting down on her desk chair staring off into space. Her face emotionless, and her eyes red, as if she had been crying.  
"Are you okay?" Tomoyo asked softly. Sakura just nodded not looking at her.  
"Guess what? Syaoran is coming back next week. He's really worried about you. You don't look like you did when he was here you know? I wrote him a letter saying that you were acting strange. Because now you never eat, and you don't look like you get enough sleep anymore. And, every other time I've said his name you have just ran away from me. He misses you too. And he thought that you would write to him just as you said you would before he left. But, you didn't which made him feel more sad."  
"Is he really coming back?" she asked. Color was coming back onto her face and shelooked better than she had in weeks.  
"Yes," Tomoyo answered, "but just for winter break. So why don't you start eating and sleeping again, so he won't have to kill himself by worrying about you?"  
"Tomoyo, I'm sorry," Sakura said, "I don't know why I haven't been myself lately. I don't know why I haven't been eating or sleeping lately. I guess it's just because I miss him so much! I'm really sorry. I wish I haven't gotten you and him so worried about me."  
"Oh well we're not the only ones who have been worried about you. I was talking to Toya and Mr. Kinomoto asking them if you have been eating lately, but they said not much. Everybody at school is really worried about you too!" Tomoyo said.  
"Then why does everybody stare at me in class?" she asked.  
"I'm pretty sure its because you looked so pale and sad and everything. Everybody really values your friendship Sakura. You looked so sad and everybody just wanted to cheer you up!" Tomoyo explained.  
"Why did I get everyone so worried like that! I knew I should've written back Syaoran, I knew it!"  
"Well! You KNEW he was going to come back!!!"  
" I know, but it was just so hard to believe!!"  
"Sakura, you know you have friends, and your not alone. You have lots of friends who really care about you, and you got everybody really worried. But I think that Syaoran visiting is a good thing. I'm sure that he'll reassure you that he will come back again, and that you should write again, because he really misses you. He loves you more than life itself. Even if he is engaged to Meilin, he says that he will find any possible way out of that, so he could be with you. He loves you and you should know that since you love him. There is nothing great enough in the whole universe to explain how much he loves you and how much he cares about you."  
"I can't believe I forgot about so much. I forgot to write to Syaoran, and I even forgot the value of me and my best friend's friendship! I'm really sorry."  
"There's nothing that you have to be sorry about. We all know what it feels like when we don't get to see the one we love and we should all be able to understand that, so don't worry. And if nobody does understand that, just remember that Syaoran and I still understand."  
  
PLEASE R&R!!! ~jess^_^ Hoped u liked it.I would really appreciate reviews.that would truly help me with story ideas and mistakes or just what you thought about it!! Thanx!! 


	2. Tears Within Me

Ok.heres chapter two everyone. I'd like to thank everyone who reviewed.. And uhh.thanks for reading for those who I begged to r&r.^_^ The reviews didn't exactly help with ideas, but still it helps in every way possible!!(constructive criticism-ish comments, no flames yet, but I'll accept them, if the reader had a REASON to send them please just don't review and say something like you suck, that mean) And um.if I didn't list your name below here, and you have reviewed thank you, I don't want to put names on here within reason. Oh yeah, sorry about the grammar issues!!! I accidentally typed this on my good word processor (non-MSW) so I had to copy/paste this on word, and I forgot to read the thing over because I was tired, depressed, pissed, etc. SORRY!! And, THIS IS NOT A FLUFFY!!! It's more of a tragedy/romance/angst/drama-ish fic and it should be remove from PG-13 TO R!! sorry !! a/n: I always take EVERYTHING AS MY FAULT, not a common mistake, excuse me. Disclaimer: obviously, I don't own CCS. It rightfully belongs to CLAMP. ^_^ Alone in My Heart by xFallenAngel of DEATHx (THIS IS NOT A FLUFFY FIC!!) Chapter 2: Tears Within Me  
  
Sakura smiled to herself, she was finally back. Back from what she had been through, she knew she had made the world's stupidest mistakes. Ignoring her friends, distancing herself from her one true love, and worst of all, making up reasons just to defy things. Lying to herself made everything worse. Deep down, she knew what was the right thing to do, but she never did it. She was just caught up in thought about all the bad things that have happened. They were bad, but they weren't. She made everything seem like it was her fault, when there were reasons for everything that happened. Syaoran Li arrived at the Tomoeda airport. He hurriedly climbed on a bus. When he arrived at Sakura's house he ran to the doorstep and rang the doorbell 5 times in a row. Nobody answered. "Obviously, nobody is going to answer the door at 3 in the morning," he thought, "everyone would be sleeping or busy doing something else." He walked over to the side of Sakura's house, until he arrived at Sakura's bedroom window. Li opened the window with the lock card, then climbed in. Sakura was sleeping soundly while Kero was playing video games. When Kero finally noticed Li's arrival, he put the game on pause and quickly flew over to him.  
"Nihao, brat!" , he said, "How was Hong Kong? When you left, Sakura was miserable. She almost starved herself. What about you?"  
Syaoran fumed. "You're pretty loud, stuffed animal. For your information, I've been in contact with Tomoyo. Sakura strangely hasn't written anything to me, or called me. Everything isn't my fault, you know. And, I thought that teddy bears, winged or not were supposed to be inanimate objects. But, it shows that you've got a pretty loud mouth, bad temper, and feelings as well. Just tell Sakura I dropped by, and that I'll be back , I'm to tired to wake her up. Bye." Li climbed out the window, and headed to his apartment. Kero flew back towards his controller, and continued his game. ***************Later***********************************  
The alarm clock rang for the fifteenth time. "Sakura, get up!!," yelled Kero. "I'm supposed to tell you something. But, since Li said that I was supposed to tell you something, doesn't mean I have to. Maybe I'll just won't tell you since he didn't say that I had to tell you."  
Sakura yawned. "Hoe?! It's already 10:00! And WHO told you to tell me something?!,"  
"God, you never pay attention. As I say for the second time, Li, the brat, stopped by yesterday when he got back from Hong Kong. But, this was when you were sleeping."  
"So then why didn't you wake me up? And what were you doing at three o clock in the morning anyway?"  
"Geez, just because I eat and sleep doesn't necessarily mean I have to. I was playing video games. Li made me pause my game because he came in through your window, and because I had to pause, I told the brat off."  
"Do you have to call him a brat?"  
"Yeah, but 'the' brat because he calls me a stuffed animal, and he made me pause my game." Sakura sighed.  
"So he's back? From Hong Kong? At his apartment?"  
"Something like that." Replied Kero carelessly, getting back to his game. (Yeah, he has been playing that since before Li arrived.) Then the phone rang. Touya answered it.  
"Hello? Kinomoto residence. Toya speaking."  
"Hoe? Oh, um, can I speak to Sakura please? This is Tomoyo."  
"Yeah, sure, whatever" he replied, "hold on." Touya put the reciever down. "Monster! Daidouji is on the phone, she wants to speak to you! Hurry up and get the phone before I hang up!"  
Sakura went over to her desk and picked up the phone. "Hello?"  
"Hey Sakura, it's Tomoyo."  
"Oh, hey. What's up?"  
"Nothing. Li was supposed to be here by this morning. Have you heard from him."  
"Uh, yeah. He stopped by earlier this morning. But, I missed him. It was 3 'o clock in the morning, and I was sleeping. Kero was playing videogames, and Li made him pause, so Kero told him off." Tomoyo laughed. "And doesn't this ALWAYS happen?"  
"Yeah," sighed Sakura, "it does."  
"You never get tired of everything always kind of straightforward?"  
"Sometimes. But then again, I'm not as confused this way."  
"Right."  
"Well, I'll talk to you later, I've got someone to catch up with."  
"Oh, I see. Well, I'll see you later then!"  
"Yeah, bye."  
"Bye"  
Sakura hung up, and hurried upstairs to change and brush her teeth. Barely 3 minutes later, she was done. She ran downstairs and out the door.  
  
"Stupid chinese brat," thought Toya. He knew what Sakura was up to. She was going to visit the brat, who just came back from Hong Kong. "At least she's been looking better then when he was gone," he said to himself. Then, he went back to watching the television. **************************Li's place**************************  
Sakura rang the doorbell over and over. "Geez, what's taking him so long?" she thought. Li opened the door, not having a clue who it was. Realizing it was Sakura, he smiled, "Do you ring everyone's doorbell 50,000 times in a row, or are you just in a bad mood today?"  
"Well, I am mad that Kero always calls you a brat, and same about my brother, but I'm just happy that you're back. And you could've woken me up earlier this morning!"  
"Nah, didn't feel like it," said Li. "But it looks like you're eating again."  
"Yeah.and?"  
"I don't know."  
"If you don't know, then how was Hong Kong? Without me?"  
"I don't know, it was kind of quiet, in a good way."  
"WHAT?"  
"I'm just teasing, yeah, I missed you."  
"I did too!"  
"I know. That's why I came back a lot earlier then I had planned to. I came so early to see if you were alright, but I really missed you too. Meilin is really different now. Even the old version of her is way better, more innocent, even. God, once when I was there, she tried to drug me, and she cornered me in this room one night and."he trailed off, not wanting to relive that night in front of Sakura.  
"What happened?"  
"Uh, nothing, I just told her to back off of me," he said quickly.  
"Thought so," Sakura said taking in his every word. She figured that Meilin must've tried to get Syaoran into her bed one night while he was at Hong Kong. "Slut," she thought, "but I know my little wolf, he wouldn't let her get to him, even if it killed him." "Well, change isn't always good then, isn't it?" she said to Li, to break the awkward silence.  
"No, I guess not," he replied agreeing. "It really isn't good," he thought, but memories of that night quickly flooded back to him. Syaoran quickly changed the subject.  
"Well, maybe since I'm back, Hiragizawa, Daidouji, and us should go somewhere this Saturday. I don't know. I need to do SOMETHING besides just stay here doing nothing." 


End file.
